The demons all come crashing in
to find a place under my skin
where there's fear and loneliness enough
for all the hosts of hell...

(CR 2010, tjb)

Awake and Alive

It's easier to get up in the mornings knowing I have a bicycle ride ahead of me, and office work is more tolerable when I'm looking forward to my bike ride home.

This morning I heard bullfrogs creaking and croaking down by the Papio Creek, and the locusts were louder than I recall in previous summers. At 6:25 a.m., the edges of greenery along the trail diffuse into the late summer haze, and the eastern sky is still a tumbled confusion of color and cloud.

My shredded, then repaired, then re-shredded right knee aches in rotation, but my breath comes easy, my heart is steady, and my muscles burn like the good old days. I could spend a day concentrating on the rhythm of my quadriceps: fire and relax, fire and relax. Hypnotic, like the locusts and the slow-moving creek. I'm nothing but an extension of the scenery.

much peace,

Old Friend

I saw a bluejay on my bike ride to work this morning. I hadn't seen one in a long time before that. I hope I see him again tomorrow.

much peace

Balancing Act

Starting a second job this week. The extra hours and work don't bother me at all. Being less present for the various important people that need me weighs heavily on me, though. So it goes in the good old sweat-combustion engine. At least I have a spot on the wheel to which I can place my substantial shoulder.

much peace

Market Research

So a child care center with franchises all over the world recently was exposed for molesting and abusing kids, covering it up and obstructing justice. The vast majority of perpetrators have avoided prosecution, or even termination, and the entrenched managers and executives refuse to leave. Despite all of the overwhelming evidence, and despite the proven track record of abusing children, millions of parents' loyalty to this brand is so strong that they still choose to entrust this corporation with their children's safety. I don't understand parents whose brand loyalty is more important than their kids.

much peace,
tjb

BOYCOTT BP

There really isn't a whole lot else to say.

BOYCOTT THE PIG FUCKERS AT BP!

Much-Needed Input

So I was playing guitar for my 4-year-old boys before bed the other night, and I was messing around with a very simple pick pattern in B-flat (new song). A couple of strings stay open and ring through the changes, and it gives (to me, anyway) an impression of space, or expanse.

The kids asked me why I wasn't singing it, and I explained that I hadn't written any lyrics yet. They then asked what the song was called, and I explained that I didn't have a title yet either. They continued to ask, and I said (somewhat shortly), "I don't know yet. Why don't you guys come up with a title?" They both got quiet, and Max tilted his head to one side and answered, "Day on the Water." Will actually started shyly singing something that was more or less in time and more or less in tune.

We play guitar and piano quite a bit, and they always sing along, but I have to admit that it's pretty amazing and fulfilling to me that they're already participating in the songwriting process. "Day on the Water" is really the name of the song, and if I can can figure out what's going through Will's head, I'll try to incorporate it as lyrics.

Of course, Will later tried to re-title the song "Circle in the Wind That Breaks into Someone's House and Steals Their T.V.," but I think he was just kidding.

much peace,
tjb

Resignation and a Little Hope

Ugh. Kids. Catholic school. Guilt, shame, and anti-intellectual worship of the supernatural. Frightening and depressing simultaneously. I hope someday the three of us can raise a glass to the death of God. Until then, it's half-truths and mythology.