Abracadabra

So this talking snake in a tree told me that Xenu, the Director of the Intergalactic Federation, knocked up this chick who swore up and down she was still a virgin. This was AFTER this crazy bearded guy with a magic hammer caused thunderstorms all over Norway, and some other cat in the desert said it was okay to kill all the infidels, a position that met with serious objection from folks who avowed and averred that THEIR bearded sky fairy had Chosen only them for that luscious desert. Then Aslan gave Prince Adam this magic sword and he and MacGuyver hooked up with Wonder Woman and Batman and made some crazy looking kids that Abraham was quite ready to kill until Buffy and Angel convinced him to change his ways.

Now, which of these things can be proven by actual empirical observation?

Answer: None.

Have a nice day. Abracadabra.